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09 December 2009 @ 03:58 pm
Rampage  
A/N: Inspired by a much lighter fic, and my general hatred for FOX.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Rampage
It had started with the pundits. The world had been shocked by the horrific murders of Glenn Beck and Bill O’Reilly. FOX’s ratings had peaked, but their replacements weren’t nearly as good. FOX lost its status as the most viewed news channel in America.

Hugh Laurie was next. The star of “House” had vanished while out jogging. Nobody suspected that there was any link to the Beck/O’Reilly murders, until three days later.

Hugh Laurie had appeared on American Idol as a guest judge, stunning everyone. At first he claimed it was a publicity stunt. People were relieved that he was alive.

Then Angelus came on. He and Hugh Laurie had killed over two hundred people that night, wiping out the ratings juggernaut. Many of those people were turned, and vampires became reality. The final explanation came when authorities discovered the body of Joss Whedon in his home. He had somehow summoned Angelus into this world, as vengeance against FOX.

The Buffy fans mobilized. The 76th Independent Battalion, formerly an organization of Firefly cosplayers, deployed to Los Angeles, armed with crossbows, stakes, and crosses. The Supreme Court ruled within days that ensouled vampires were not people. The vampire epidemic was stopped, but they almost certainly missed some.

Meanwhile, Angelus’ campaign against FOX continued unabated. Gordon Ramsey and Kiefer Sutherland were turned. The Wall Street Journal was burned to the ground. Showrunners, actors, and reporters alike were murdered. The only shows that weren’t attacked were Bones and Family Guy. David Boreanaz had been conscripted by the 76th, and Seth Green ordered Family Guy’s cancellation the same day that Angelus revealed himself.

Six months after Angelus’ arrival, News Corp shut down, after the last executive went insane.

In the end, only one person could stop Angelus – Buffy. The Mutant Enemy staff worked for a month to get the Dollhouse imprinting technology working while Marti Noxon reconstructed the ritual to create a Slayer. And they brought in the one person who could do it.

Angelus was slain by Sarah Michelle Gellar eight months and four days after arriving on Earth. The death toll was 24,591.